We are living in a day and age when women and children are in charge because men have abdicated their responsibilities. We have the Women’s Bondage Movement because men refuse to take up their rightful place of authority. Isaiah the prophet said in Isaiah 3:12, "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." When children are oppressors and women are in authority, you have a recipe for disaster and collapse of any restraint. It is a time of total chaos, lawlessness, and confusion. To stem the tide of immorality, it is going to take godly men standing their ground and once again being the authority in the home. The crying need of our day is male leadership.
Application
To properly understand the Bible, we need to use what is known as applied theology.
Exodus 22:16-17 reads, "And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. 17If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins." The word for entice here should be seduce. It is well known fact that older men seek to violate younger women. This is where the father becomes very important to his daughter in protecting her virginity.
God is the inventor of what we call procreation. It is His idea. However, He has put boundaries around it. For potential marriage partners, God’s standard is purity or virginity for both the young man and young woman. If we do not begin here, then all other thoughts concerning procreation will lead to disaster. Virginity is not optional but rather essential. This leads to parents, especially the father, in ensuring that their children are pure when they marry. This requires diligence on the part of the parents. Deuteronomy 21:13-21 is straight to the point, "If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20But if this thing be true,and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." This case law has a deterring effect on men and women in marrying. Obviously, a woman would want to be pure because of the potential death penalty and a man would not want to slander a virgin because it will cost him physically and economically. Notice the father and mother are to bring the proof of virginity. Virginity was highly prized in the Old Testament. It is the norm for Christians. It is abnormal not to be one before marriage. In fact, pagans and heathens give themselves away to anyone and everyone.
Even if a young man did seduce a young woman and generally they were to be married according to this case law, the father had the final say so on whether the young man would become her husband. The father had authority over his daughter. Genesis 38:11 says that a woman was to be in her father’s house until marriage, "Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father’s house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father’s house." This is a protection to the daughter’s virginity. A woman living outside her father’s house is an easy target for being beguiled. Now a days, the women are the ones that are seducing the young men. They have turned the tables because of Women’s Bondage.
The father could reject the young man. There are many marriages that ought not to take place. Many fathers give up their authority and accede to ungodly marriages that result in heartache and continued strife until the divorce. A young man who seduces a young women already has a questionable character. If he did to her, no telling what he might do later. Since this young woman has lost her virginity, she will not be as highly prized as a wife. Therefore, if the father refuse his daughter in marriage, the young man is pay a dowry of virgins to the father. This means that the father can then give that dowry to a potential suitor for his daughter. It has the effect of restoration and restitution.
Conclusion
Fathers have to take their roles more seriously. They have a duty to their daughters to ensure that they are virgins when married. Husbands need to look for a strong moral character in their future son-in-laws. The father gives the final approval on whether the young lady marries the young man. Courting is effective in preventing loss of virginity before marriage. Abstinence until marriage is the only safe policy.
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